Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
My heart is a fleshy, physical, pump in my body. It doesn't speak to me and it certainly doesn't have the ability to lead a march for me to follow.
I had a successful but fundamentally, for me, soul destroying career in leading edge tech. The advice I got was to 'follow your heart' or 'do what you love' but these aphorisms just did not compute for me.
Decades invested in rational, logically, problem solving thinking from a rational, logical, problem solving family gave me absolutely zero access to this world of hippy, spiritual platitudes.
The only thing that kept me curious was my rational, logical understanding that these pithy wisdoms could not, would not still be doing the rounds if there wasn't something in them.
I tried life coaching, meditation, time out and alcohol. Of all of these alcohol was the best to get me dreaming but it was also the most debilitating and depressive. I have since given it up and that is story for another time.
In the end I decided I had to do something, anything. I had to make a change, push some sort of envelope in my consciousness. From a career perspective my choices were to take a permanent role moving into Programme Management or go back to college and do an MBA or MSc.
All options were depressing. The pressure was intense. And then under that pressure there was a glimmer, a gleam. I wasn't particularly driven to study but I was so ready to move on from the boredom of my life I was ready to ask the question, if I had to study and the choice was mine what would I do? The answer - a Master in Arts.
I played with that idea, had fun doing some good logical research: anthropology, ecology and environmental sciences all appealed.
Practically I wanted to keep working so I narrowed my search to London where I was working, curious about exotic cultures & travels I decided on SOAS [School of Oriental & African Studies] and with an weekend course in reflexology under my belt and an interest in alternative health I put in an application for an MA in Medical Anthropology. It felt like play. I had zero qualifications to get into this course but I was interviewed and given a place. I am sure just because of my chutzpah.
This course took my little logical, right way thinking brain and turned it upside down. Discombobulating and exhilarating in equal measure. There was something here for me - it wasn't about becoming a Medical Anthropologist it was about transforming my thinking. I slowed right down and took my time to savour each module completing the course in a record long 5 years.
Then that I realised that I had followed my heart, not in any rational, logical, sense making way but by asking questions and giving myself permission to make it up and play. That is when the doors started to open.
Since then I have got better at hearing the whisper and guiding others to do the same.
#change #transformation #followyourheart